


In the Shape of a Heart

by Elliekat



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, Gender Issues, Minor Aerith Gainsborough/Tifa Lockhart, Trans Character, Trans Cloud Strife, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:43:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29603343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elliekat/pseuds/Elliekat
Summary: Cloud's military career has ended prematurely, and he's settled into a life with his best friend Tifa. But when Zack unexpectedly falls back into his life, Cloud is suddenly confronted with a host of new feelings. Some are easier to deal with than others.Trans girl Cloud, closeted at the beginning.Modern AU with canon elements.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	In the Shape of a Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading my fic! In case anyone is confused, Cloud is a trans woman in this fic, but will take a little while to realize it. So the fic is tagged M/F, but Cloud will still be using he/him pronouns for a while. I am trans but not a trans woman, and I welcome feedback on my portrayal of a closeted trans woman in this fic!

"Cloud, are you almost ready?" Tifa called from outside the bathroom. "I told Aerith we would be there at eight."

Cloud sighed as he leaned against the sink. "Are you sure she wants me there?" he asked. "I'll really be okay just staying in. I don't want to just be your third wheel." Tifa's girlfriend was nice enough, but Cloud couldn't help but feel awkward going out to a bar with the two of them. He didn't want to be invited out of pity if they would rather go out just as a couple. 

"Of course she does!" Tifa said. "Aerith really likes you, and you're important to me too, Cloud. I want you to be friends with my girlfriend! Plus, the Honeybee is a great bar. Maybe we'll even find a cute boy for you too!" Cloud could practically hear her teasing grin in her last few words. 

It had been months since Cloud had come out to Tifa as bisexual, and practically every weekend since then she had been trying to get him to join her at her favorite gay bar, the Honeybee. "You don't have to hook up with anyone, but I think you should see what's out there! You never know what might happen," she had said. 

Cloud had been skeptical. Bars were great and all for drinking, but he had never been interested in finding a date at one. He was painfully aware of his own social awkwardness, and besides, the type of person who would try to pick people up at a bar was already not someone he was very interested in dating. The only reason he had agreed to go this time was because Tifa had assured him that both she and Aerith really wanted him there. The thought made Cloud's heart clench a bit. It was a little pathetic, but Tifa had been his only friend for so long that the idea of someone else legitimately enjoying his presence sent his mood sky-high.

Taking one last deep breath, Cloud opened the bathroom door. Tifa was waiting for him outside, wearing a short blue dress Cloud had never seen her wear before. The satin fabric hugged her body tightly, showing off her curves. 

"Wow," he said aloud before he could stop himself. His face grew hot at the little smirk she gave him in response. "Uhh, I mean, you look great," he mumbled. "Bet Aerith's gonna love that." 

"Oh, you're such a sweetie," she laughed. "You look great too! I told you there was nothing to worry about. That shirt is perfect!" 

Shortly after he came out to her, Tifa had dragged Cloud to the shopping district to buy "date clothes", insisting that he needed something other than his usual attire of gray t-shirts and black jeans "just in case". Cloud really hadn't seen what the rush was, since he wasn't even close to going on any dates, but Tifa had been so excited about the shopping trip that he had given in. Cloud had tried to just grab the first nice-looking button-down he saw and get out of there, but Tifa had made him try it on first before rejecting it. "You look so uncomfortable in that, Cloud! Your date is going to think you don't want to be there," she had said, and their shopping trip stretched out longer and longer as she vetoed several more outfits out of hand. 

Cloud had been about to tell her that they should just go home when his gaze fell upon a mannequin wearing a loose royal blue tunic-style shirt. He swore he had only glanced at it briefly, his mind barely even considering it as a suitable outfit, but Tifa had latched onto it for some reason. She claimed he had been "staring" and had purchased it on the spot despite Cloud's sudden nervousness, sending it home with him where it hung in his closet until she had practically manhandled him into wearing it to their outing with Aerith. 

Despite Tifa's approval, the prospect of wearing his current outfit in public still made him slightly anxious. The shirt's wide neckline exposed quite a lot of his neck and shoulders, which he definitely wasn't used to with his normal attire. The slightly stretchy fabric clung to his chest and arms, and the hem fluttered around his hips much lower than one of his typical shirts. He knew the Honeybee was a gay bar, but did that actually mean it was okay to wear something so... feminine? Back when he was in the army, his squad mates could be absolutely ruthless about this kind of thing. Cloud had already been somewhat of an outcast; if they had seen him wearing this shirt back then they would have mocked him forever, or worse. Oh Gaia, what if he ran into someone from the army at this bar? He should-

Tifa's hand suddenly grasped his forearm, her grip firm and grounding. "Cloud, I can tell you're overthinking," she chided gently. "I promise everything is going to be okay. Putting yourself out there is scary at first, but you're not going alone. Aerith and I will be there, and I promise if anyone says anything to you, I'll kick their ass." 

She was so sure and matter-of-fact that Cloud couldn't help but be comforted. "Thanks, Tifa," he said, taking a deep breath before nodding. "Let's go." 

\-------------

Cloud leaned back in his chair, simply soaking up the atmosphere and enjoying the presence of his friends. Once they had arrived at the bar and met up with Aerith, he had begun to feel much more relaxed. Her bubbly personality lifted all of their moods, and Cloud didn't feel like a third wheel at all. She was obviously very enamored with Tifa, but she seemed just as interested in getting to know her girlfriend's best friend. He was extremely relieved that she didn't act weird or jealous about the fact that he and Tifa lived and worked together, which immediately put her far ahead of most of Tifa's past dates in Cloud's book. 

He of course wanted Tifa to find a romantic partner that would make her happy, but she was still one of the most important people in his life and he hoped that their platonic relationship of so many years wouldn't be put on the back burner if she did find someone. He had once voiced this out loud to her when they both had a bit to drink one evening, albeit in a much more rambling and emotional way that sometimes made him cringe after the fact, but thankfully she had emphatically agreed with him. So far Aerith had been nothing but kind and understanding, more than happy to integrate herself into their lives without trying to limit Tifa's love, and even though they had only been dating for a few months Cloud really thought she might be the one for his best friend. 

Between his internal monologue and his friends' conversation, Cloud barely registered the sound of the door opening behind them, and would most likely have immediately forgotten about it if Aerith hadn't suddenly stopped talking, her eyes growing wide. 

"Oh my God, no way! My ex is here!" she laughed.

Tifa raised her eyebrows. "Ex? Do I need to teach him a lesson?" She flexed her bicep, making Aerith giggle. 

"No, no, it's not like that. He's totally cool, we're still friends. I just wasn't expecting to see him here at all!" Aerith took another sip of her pink cocktail. "Should I call him over or is that weird?" 

Cloud was slightly curious, and turned in his chair to look at the group that had just come in, but what he saw made his whole body tense. His worries from earlier had been realized. A small group of guys had entered, several of them wearing heavy boots, dog tags, and other attire that clearly marked them as military. None of them were his former squad mates, but the one person he did recognize from the group was possibly even worse. 

Aerith and Tifa's conversation filtered into his ears through his suddenly rapid, anxious heartbeat. "So what happened?" Tifa was asking. "Did he suddenly realize he was actually gay?"

"No, Zack told me he was bi pretty early on. Honestly, we just–" 

Cloud suddenly whipped back around in his chair, causing both of the girls to look at him with concern. "Aerith, your... your ex. It's Zack? Zack Fair?" he stuttered.

"Oh my god, you know him?" Aerith said, clearly shocked. "Wow, Midgar really is a tiny place!" 

"Cloud used to be in the army too," Tifa explained. 

Cloud braced himself for some kind of awkward question from Aerith, wondering which of the many annoying probes into his personal life it would be this time. Would it be vaguely condescending: "Huh, were you not tough enough or something?" Or perhaps it would be pity, if she figured out the real reason for his discharge. 

But Aerith only smiled at him. "Wow! So I guess I really should call him over then, huh?"

"We weren't exactly friends or anything… He probably doesn't even remember who I--" Cloud tried to explain, but Aerith was already waving her arm in the air wildly. 

"Zack! Hey, Zack!" she called. Tifa looked towards the group of soldiers, while Cloud kept his eyes on his drink. 

"Oh, here he comes," Tifa said. Cloud's heart felt like it would explode at any minute from the anxiety that suddenly welled up inside him. It didn't get any better when he heard Zack's distinct, cheerful voice approaching their table. 

"Aerith! Long time no see!" Zack said. "How have you been? Who's your lovely lady friend? And-- whoa, hey, is that you, Cloud?!"

Cloud flinched at the sound of his name, suddenly feeling like everyone was staring at him. "H-hey," he said, hoping no one would comment on how nervous he clearly was.

"How have you been? It's really been a while, huh? Things just aren't the same without you, buddy," Zack said, sliding into the open chair next to Cloud, who was still staring steadfastly at the glass in front of him. "I didn't expect to see you here! You look awesome, though!" 

Cloud felt his cheeks grow hot at the compliment. "Thanks. I'm… I'm alright. Just here with Tifa. My… my roommate." he said, struggling slightly with his words. The presence of someone he knew, and especially this particular person he knew, had him completely set on edge.

"Hi, I'm Tifa," said Tifa, giving Zack a little wave. "Nice to meet you, Zack. So you and Cloud were friends back in the army?"

"It wasn't really like--" Cloud started, but Zack interrupted him.

"We were buddies! They put me in charge of his unit for some of their training, and we did some jobs together in smaller squads. Sadly never got to spend as much time one on one as I would have liked, but that's kinda just how it is with different ranks. Better late than never, though! Never thought I'd see both you and Aerith at the same time!" he said, grinning widely. "How have you been, by the way? I take it you and Tifa must be together?" He flashed his grin toward Aerith, seemingly unaffected by the fact that they were exes.

Aerith giggled and gripped Tifa's muscular arm tightly. "Sure are! And I bet she could beat you at a pull-up contest, too!" 

"Hey, you know squats are my real area of expertise! If she can beat me at that, I'll really be impressed," Zack laughed.

"Oh, it's on," Tifa said, already looking more relaxed as she warmed up in the face of Zack's usual cheerfulness. 

Cloud leaned back in his chair as the other three chatted with one another, content to be in the background for now. It looked like Zack wasn't going to bring up his discharge, which he was incredibly thankful for. He was barely able to discuss the circumstances around it with Tifa, his closest friend, much less in a public venue surrounded by strangers and people who were barely acquaintances. It was still ruining his ability to be happy about the chance to reconnect with a person he had always liked and admired. Just Zack's presence was making him feel strange. He was tense, but he also felt weirdly detached from the others' conversation, like he was watching it on a screen instead of it actually happening in front of him. Part of him desperately wanted to spend more time with Zack, and the other half wished he would disappear so these strange feelings would go away.

"We should all get together sometime and hang out!" Aerith said, bouncing excitedly in her seat. "Are you gonna be free next weekend too, Zack? I think Cloud and Tifa have the biggest apartment out of all of us. Would it be okay to meet up there? We could play some games!"

Cloud was startled back into awareness by the sound of his name. "Ah, um, is that okay with you, Tifa?" he asked.

"That sounds like fun," Tifa said. "It's alright with me!"

"Yeah, I get a lot of weekends off now that I made Second. I'll definitely be there!" Zack said. "It'll be perfect for me and Tifa's squat match! And Cloud, it'll be really great to see you again!" He flashed another wide smile at Cloud, making him stutter. 

"Ah, y-yeah. Nice to see you too." Cloud forced a small smile onto his face. 

"Zack, maybe you should give Cloud and Tifa your phone number," Aerith said. "Just in case something comes up?" She leaned forward against the table, her chin resting on her hand. 

"Oh yeah, great idea," Zack said. "I'll write it down for you guys. I know I've got a pen somewhere." He dug in his pockets for a moment before pulling out a pen, and scrawled a number onto a napkin that he pushed towards Cloud. "This is gonna be so fun!"

Suddenly there was a commotion from the other end of the bar, and someone called out Zack's name. "Looks like I'd better get back to my guys," Zack said. "See you guys later! Bye, Cloud!" He patted Cloud's shoulder as he got up from the table.

The sudden contact distracted Cloud until he realized he hadn't responded. Embarrassed, he looked up at Aerith and Tifa. Aerith gave him a wide smile before she turned to Tifa to continue their conversation from earlier, and Cloud felt himself slowly relax.

\-------------

"Are you doing alright, Cloud?" Tifa asked as she drove them back to the apartment.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"Zack… is he the one who…?" Even Tifa didn't want to mention the details. 

"Yeah. He saved me," Cloud said. That strange detached feeling was coming back, which made the words a little easier to say, though it felt a bit like someone else was actually saying them. "They said he visited me while I was in the hospital too. But obviously I don't remember that part." 

Tifa looked worried. "If it's still too hard to see him, you don't have to. I can talk to Aerith if you need me to. We can just get together without him."

"It's okay. I'm alright. Just wasn't expecting to run into him, is all." Cloud leaned against the cold window of the van, watching the city lights go by. 

"Well, just let me know if you need anything. You can always talk to me, alright?" Tifa said. 

"Yeah, I know." Cloud thought, not for the first time, that he didn't know where he would be without her.


End file.
